The Origins of Woman

It's just another Friday night, the dining table debris framed by shadows of empty wine bottles and there are two conversations in progress. One is about go-carting. No one is sure why. The other is about Fifty Shades of Grey. Again. The conversation started around a pool in Puglia back in August but has returned for round two.  Germaine Greer, Simone de Beauvoir, Ann Summers: they all get a mention. As does grooming, sex toys (sales are up), contracts and empowerment.


At times it all gets rather heated, especially on the subject of empowerment. Fuelled by mid-priced Cava, this concept, in particular, is objected to with a passion; Fifty Shades of Grey is about as empowering as the dishwasher... It doesn't challenge the status quo... Entrenched ideologies relating to gender stereotypes are not reframed in any way... And the sex? The much hyped 'tie me to a replica wagon wheel, press this button and I'll orgasm' notion of female sexual liberation? A mere smokescreen for a traditional narrative of the heterosexual ideal (the lady doth protest - initially - but all she really wants is to get married to a handsome, complex man and have his children - yawn...).

Satisfied, I'm pouring myself another drink. 'But hang on,' (a voice from around the table interrupts to play devil's advocate) 'that's based upon your experience. You may not consider it empowering but you are not every woman.' And it's true. Unlike Chaka Khan, I am prepared to admit that I'm not. None of us are every anything, when it comes down to it. And while it doesn't change my mind, it does remind me to consider the importance of origins upon perception; as both a reader and a writer. My critical voice emerges from the myriad influences and experiences of my life to date, cultural and social ideals that I have been exposed to - both within and beyond my own social, educational and physical sphere. I can't possibly transpose this to the experience of every woman and deign to speak for them, any more than I can expect anyone to speak for me - with authenticity, anyway.

In The Second Sex Simone de Beauvoir said, 'One is not born, but rather becomes a woman.' Yes, she does. Socialisation continues to dictate to us what a woman should be, should think, should aspire to in order that this is what we will 'become'. This is wrong. But, it also serves as context for critical analysis. 

My perspective is informed by the woman that I have become. But it is not the only perspective because I am not the only woman and my society, my process of socialisation (or my subversion of it) is not the only state in which women exist.

The conversation around the table peters out, as they do, but the real full stop comes when we are reminded that the copy of Fifty Shades of Grey that was passed around by the pool in Puglia is no more. It couldn't withstand repeated readings and the pages eventually all fell out. Discarded and forgotten, it was caught by a sudden gust of wind and the pages were scattered to the four corners of the surrounding countryside.

Anyone for a discussion about symbolism?